


Two Celestials & A Baby

by Zakani_Donovan



Series: Well, That Was A Thing (Good Omens One-Shots) [20]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: AU, Adam Young calms them all the fuck down, Anathema is a good friend, Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Can’t write smut to save my life, Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Kids (Good Omens), Crowley is Good With Kids (Good Omens), Crowley is So Done (Good Omens), Crowley is a Mess (Good Omens), F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, I say implied since nothing actually happens on screen, Implied Sexual Content, Kinda crack fic though, M/M, Parenthood anxiety, Soft Aziraphale (Good Omens), Soft Crowley (Good Omens), Sorry if you were expecting any here, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, good omens - Freeform, hybrid baby, pregnancy anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:21:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26864311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zakani_Donovan/pseuds/Zakani_Donovan
Summary: Since getting together, the angel and demon would get physical quite often. Something about making up for lost time, since they realized how many years they had gone pining for each other and neither had noticed. It was embarrassing, to say the least. Although, not as embarrassing as accidentally getting pregnant because one of them did too good a job at recreating their Efforts.
Relationships: Anathema Device & Newton Pulsifer, Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer, Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Well, That Was A Thing (Good Omens One-Shots) [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1800655
Comments: 7
Kudos: 48





	Two Celestials & A Baby

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gams](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gams/gifts).



> Context: Pregnancy AU, mainly done in snippets rather than going through it month-to-month. Inspired by obafluff over on Instagram.

It was a cold, winter day in Soho. Anathema Device had popped in for a visit while Newt tended to his sick mother. Anathema had offered to tag along, but Mrs. Pulsifer was still a bit cross with her for 'stealing away her boy and not even inviting her to the ceremony'. To avoid an argument with a sick older woman, she decided to head out for her own sanity. As she walked around the square, she ran into Aziraphale, who was simply delighted to see her again. They chatted over the phone often these days, but being in the same place at the same time was a rare occurrence for them. After the typical 'How has your day been?' opener, the blond invited her to the bookshop to keep the conversation going in a more comfortable setting.

He made tea and discussed their favorite stories up until Crowley barged through the shop's doors. The demon sauntered in, groaning as he hauled half a dozen shopping bags. "I hate last minute shoppers. Would it kill them to get their shit together before December so I don't have to deal with them? That's all I ask."

Aziraphale tutted. "Darling, we have company. Ease up on your complaining."

"Oh, hey Book Girl. How's it going?" Asked the ginger as he dropped the bags.

She hummed. "Not gonna lie, could be better. How about you?"

Crowley poked her leg with the tip of his shoe. "I've felt like shit all day. Scooch over, will you?"

"Crowley, don't be rude to our guest just because a few holiday shoppers got on your nerves." Warned the chubby blond from behind his teacup.

The demon slumped on the couch and his head landed on Anathema's lap. "Why not? She's used to my attitude."

"Crowley!"

"It's alright, Aziraphale. If he gets too insufferable, I'll just imprison him in a circle of salt." Said the occultist with a smug face as she ruffled up the ginger man's hair. "You just wanna keep complaining, don't you?"

He nodded glumly like a sick child. Aziraphale rolled his eyes at this but couldn't help but chuckle. "Complain away, my love."

"Well first off, my feet hurt something fierce, I have no clue why. Not as bad as 1941 but a close second."

Anathema's eyebrows furrowed. "What happened in 1941?"

"He walked on consecrated ground to save me." Said the angel as he poured them more tea.

"Aww, that's so sweet!" She cooed.

Crowley made a face. "I'm not sweet!"

"Then, I'm not a witch. Anyway, keep bitching." She said as she continued to fluff the ginger's hair.

The demon nodded. "Right. So, my feet are killing me, half of the time I was feeling nauseous, and the other half I was dizzy. Not to mention I've been shivering all day 'cause of the damn snow. I swear to Someone, if my body has suddenly decided to get infected by human illnesses, I'm gonna have you hex me back to health." He finished, sinking further into her lap.

Aziraphale scoffed. "Come now, my dear. We've been among the worst plagues in history and haven't caught so much as a cold. What's more likely is that you accidentally did something to yourself without realizing it."

"How is that even possible?" Asked Anathema, trying to visualize it.

The angel grinned. "Oh, it **is**. He created the M25, then always gets stuck in its traffic. He'll glue pennies to the sidewalk to fool others but will forget about it the next day, then try to pick them up himself. One day, I was a bit too cheeky for his liking, so he swapped out the sugar for salt. Of course, he messed up and accidentally poured salt into his own coffee. Needless to say, I either married the unluckiest demon alive or the dumbest, depending on the day."

"And I married the sappiest, yet cattiest, angel of all time." Replied the demon as he flipped him off.

Aziraphale smiled knowingly. "You love me for it."

"More than I care to admit, in public... What's with you?" Asked the snake-eyed demon, seeing Anathema's sudden change in body language.

Anathema stopped staring at him, snapping out of it and shook her head. "Sorry. I was checking your aura. It doesn't look normal."

"What do you mean?" He asked, sitting up properly.

"Your aura is usually a very deep red. Like blood, or a ruby. If you were sick, your aura would be the same shade of red, but dingy. It's not that at all." She began.

Crowley narrowed his eyes. "Then what **is** it?"

Anathema inhaled deeply. "It's your usual red but with a soft pink outline. An **unnatural** pink outline which is impossible for people to have as their normal aura."

"Oh, for fuck's sake. It's probably Heaven or Hell trying to kill us again. Ugh, I don't have the energy for this right now." Said the demon as he threw himself against the back of the couch.

"Crowley, it's not that... You're pregnant." She finally spit out.

The demon's back straightened and he slowly turned towards Anathema. "...Book Girl, you have 10 seconds to tell me what's **actually** wrong with me, before I start losing my composure."

"I'm not lying and I'm not wrong."

"9."

"I have no idea how-"

"8."

"I know nothing about demon anatomy-"

"7."

"But you are-"

"6."

"100%-"

"5."

"Without a doubt-"

"4."

"Pregnant."

"...Fuck..." Was all the redhead was able to muster, looking quite terrified in the process.

"That's how you got into this mess." She mumbled.

"Ssssshut it!" He snapped with a hiss.

She didn't obey if that was a command, because she added another one. "What you **should've** kept shut were your legs. So enlighten me: Since when can demons and angels reproduce? Because that seems like a very forbidden thing."

"It shouldn't **be** possible. Not even with the right Efforts." He said, still I'm disbelief.

Anathema made a confused face. "The 'Right Efforts'?" She asked.

"Genitals."

She all but gawked. "You can change them?!"

"We're sexless by nature. A real Ken doll situation down there. Unless you feel like having something and make an effort in believing you do." He explained, half-heartedly.

She shook her head, as if that would clear it. "Okay, this is extremely fascinating to me but, we'll come back to it. Right now, I just need you to remember the last time you were physically female so we can, hopefully, figure out how far along you are."

"Don't know. At some point in the last 3 months?"

Anathema glared at him. "Are you kidding me?"

"What? I'm an immortal being, I'm horrible with time!" Argued the demon.

"October 21st..." Said Aziraphale, finally saying something about this since Anathema dropped that information bomb.

A lightbulb went off in Crowley's head. "Oh yeah, our birthday..." He said, hoping his blush from the memory wasn't too noticeable.

Anathema turned towards the angel. "Sorry ' **our** ' birthday?"

"We share a 'human' birthday. We were created before time was a proper thing, so we just use the date the world was created. October 21st, 4004 B. C..." Clarified the redhead.

The witch made a mental note of that. "Again, very interesting, but we'll come back to it later. Okay... That's 6 weeks then. Still early, but it begs the question: Have you had any drugs or alcohol since that day?"

"Anathema, you already know the answer to that question. I drink like a fish."

"Then, I suggest you stop. We have no idea if the same things that can effect a human pregnancy apply to yours. Better safe than sorry."

"You've got to be kidding me. All this because we didn't use a rubber. You've **got** to be joking me." He mumbled to himself as he crossed his arms and sank into the couch once more.

Anathema rolled her eyes at him. "Well, **clearly** you should've."

"We never have, why bother over a year into the relationship?"

"You two **never** used protection? That's basic sex ed, you idiots." She said as she grabbed the nearest pillows and flung them towards them.

Crowley caught the cushion with no problem and threw it back. "Hey, don't start with that! By Heaven's order, no angel can naturally reproduce because of the whole nephilim business! Technically, he's snipped, we **should've** been fine!" Argued the snake.

Aziraphale's face looked as though something clicked in his brain. "Oh, dear..."

"What?" They both asked, sensing his worried tone.

"My body isn't 6,000 years old anymore... This is the one Adam created for me. There's no way he could've known about that rule!" Said the blond as he wrung his hands together.

Crowley looked so done with his life. "Oh, **great**! The 11 year old Antichrist reversed your vasectomy! How much more ridiculous can we get?!" He yelled full of anger, grabbing the nearest pillow and digging his nails and teeth into it. The white scleras of his eyes disappeared and his pupils were hair-thin.

"I'd say 'fairly more'. This... creature won't be half angel-half human, it's going to be part demon! What are we going to do?!" Asked the principality, throwing his head into his hands.

Anathema could both see and feel their anxiety spiking as the pair kept their silence. Obviously, of those present, she was the least experienced when it came to supernatural beings. But if they had managed to survive Armageddon, even if it was through pure luck alone, she thought they had a fair chance of getting through **this**. They simply needed to hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Thanks to her upbringing, she knew quite a bit of that already.

"You're going to study." She said, getting up from the couch.

Aziraphale looked up at her just as she was reaching for him. She pulled him off his chair and made him sit on the couch next to Crowley. She then went to one of the bookshelves in the middle of the shop. When she returned to the back room, she had 3 books in her arms. She let them fall onto the coffee table.

"You've got hundreds of books here that speak of religious beasts, whether they're real or not. Go through anything you can find, estimate how likely the possibility of it happening in this particular case is, I'll do the same with online info, and we pray to Someone or Something that we can control it." She concluded.

The husbands, seemingly realizing they needed to get their shit together, nodded.

Anathema looked surprised that her little speech actually worked, but she had a good pokerface about it. "Alright good. So... For now, we should treat this like you're a pregnant mortal with no supernatural powers." She said, staring at Crowley.

The demon's eyes returned to normal again. He wasn't angry anymore, just a bit disappointed. Whether it was because of the lack of drinking or miracles was yet to be discussed. He simply nodded again and nuzzled into Aziraphale.

Once the tension died down significantly, she sat on the chair and served them some more tea. And, of course, because she couldn't let it go, she had to ask: "So, if you never wanted to have a kid, why did you make a properly functioning uterus and ovaries?"

"Honestly? I had no clue they **were** functioning before this." Said Crowley.

Anathema groaned. "Are you kidding me?"

The demon sighed. "Wish I was."

Azirpahale chuckled. "Once again, your pursuit of a perfect aesthetic lands you in a pickle. You should have seen the trouble he went through with a pair of tights he **insisted** were the right size. He couldn't get out of them and I didn't let him use a miracle until he admitted he was wrong."

"How long did that take?" She asked, already amused.

The angel laughed. "Over an hour. It's a very good thing blood circulation does not effect us as it does humans."

"It certainly did on October 21st..." Mumbled the witch before taking another sip of her tea.

Aziraphale stopped smiling and feigned annoyance. "Dear girl, you have nowhere else to go until your husband is done tending to his mother. Don't make me kick you out."

Both Anathema and Crowley snickered at that, knowing he would do no such thing.

~~~~~

Ever since Anathema's discovery, Aziraphale and Crowley had been wondering many things. Mainly: Would this pregnancy be human in nature, or something totally horrific? No longer being able to ask their superiors made it hard to say. Although, when thinking of what the reaction to this would be both Upstairs and Down, perhaps it was a good thing they were permanently exiled to Earth. Therefore, an earthly answer would have to suffice.

Taking human anatomy into account, Crowley decided the easiest way to get a gynecologist appointment would be to switch to a fully female body for the foreseeable future. It took some getting used to. Aside from many recent romantic nights with Aziraphale, she hadn't fully presented female for longer than a few hours since her Nanny Ashtoreth days. Her current state also prevented her from dressing like the aforementioned babysitter, since her feet were still unbearable, which meant no heels, and her blouses felt much too tight around her abdomen. This was how Crowley ended up getting a new wardrobe.

Aziraphale had seen her donning robes and dresses over the millennia, but he never expected to see her as a typical pregnant housewife. He didn't admit it in public for her sake, but he thought the sight of her in a very loose hanging dress and her hair tied into a bun was absolutely adorable. What wasn't so adorable though, were her mood swings. Like today for example, she had been fine just this morning, but now that they were in the waiting area of the gynecologist's office, she looked close to sobbing.

The blond held her hand. "How are you feeling, darling?"

"I'm not even sure anymore, angel."

"Oh dear..." He replied, massaging the back of her hand. "Let's hope Dr. Kingston can shed some light on all this. Find out how far along you are."

Just then, a short woman with dark brown hair approached the two of them. "Excuse me, couldn't help but overhear you. My name's Sarah. You're first timers?"

Crowley, rather than lashing out like Aziraphale feared, let out a chuckle as she shed a tear and wiped it away with her free hand. "That obvious, huh?"

The woman looked as though she wanted to hug Crowley. "We're all nervous the first time. Couldn't have picked a better doctor, really. That's my wife Jenny, over there." She pointed and waved at the very pregnant, taller blonde woman who was sitting across the room. She waved back. "She's carrying our third. Dr. Kingston's been a real blessing for us. I don't doubt he'll be one for you two as well."

"That's very good to hear, thank you very much Sarah." Said Aziraphale with a sweet smile.

She returned the gesture and grabbed a little card from the nearby magazine table. "Dr. Kingston actually sponsors a class for new parents. Maybe taking it or sitting in on it would help put you at ease." She told them, handing over the card with said class information on it. Crowley accepted the small piece of paper and the dark haired woman went back to her wife.

Aziraphale looked down at the card. "It's certainly something to think about, isn't it?"

"Maybe... Ugh, I can't stand this anymore." Said Crowley, rubbing her eyes with the heels of her palms and snapping her fingers.

And like magic, because it **was** , the nurse behind the front desk was calling for Mrs. Fell. Aziraphale sent a glare his wife's way, but even though he knew no one suspected a thing, he felt the need to scold her. The couple entered the doctor's examination room, Crowley changed into a disposable gown, and they sat in silence, waiting for the gynecologist. Upon arriving, the medic quickly started asking many questions, both personal and not, seemingly to get to know each other better and make the relationship feel a bit more comfortable. Aziraphale didn't know if it was working, but Crowley's calmness made him believe it was. Thankfully, it wasn't making her feel any worse, which counted for something.

The appointment went by smoothly. Dr. Kingston was incredibly thorough, and he documented every single thing he did and noticed about Crowley. Aziraphale was beginning to see that Sarah's praise had been well placed. The physician found nothing out of the ordinary, which certainly put the couple at ease for a while. And they got the information they wanted: Crowley was two months along.

They left the doctor's office with their next appointment scheduled and reading material in hand. It was a silent drive back home. Something was **clearly** bothering her, since not only did she shut off the radio as soon as they got in, she was driving at a **safe** speed. Surprisingly, this made Aziraphale feel more uncomfortable than her typical speed-demon behavior. He made sure not to ask anything until they made it back to the Mayfair flat, and even waited until she was comfortably lazing around the living room.

The angel sat down next to her, gently taking her phone from her hands. "Do you want to share what's actually bothering you, now that we're alone?"

The redhead knew where this conversation was going as soon as she felt her device leaving her fingers. She tensed and clenched her hands. The demon had clearly been repressing her feelings via mindless distractions, because she began to quiver and looked like she was about to start sobbing. "I'm fucking **terrified** , Aziraphale..." She whispered as her gaze stayed firmly in her lap. "Even if this thing doesn't end up being born a monster, what if **I** turn it into one?"

"Oh, darling, no... You could never do that." He said, holding her as tears came out. He hadn't expected this and his heart broke.

She clutched onto him. "That's bullshit and we both know it."

"It isn't-"

"It's true! **I** was the one who ruined everything for the humans!" She screamed into his shoulder with a sob.

Aziraphale hugged her tightly, kissing her temple and her snake mark. "They made a choice, you were doing your job."

"I'm a **demon** , Aziraphale! I was made to corrupt..."

"Crowley, darling, please..." Said the angel, shifting to cup her face in his hands.

Her nose was red, her eyes were fully serpentine, her face was damp and hot to the touch. She met his gaze and her breath hitched as she shut her eyes. "...How you haven't Fallen yet because of me is beyond me."

The blond wiped away her tears. "If I were going to Fall, I would have the very moment I lied to The Almighty about giving away my sword. You being a demon does **not** effect me in any way. And it **won't** effect our child."

"How can you say that and believe it? After all the shit we've been through?"

"Because I believe in you and all the **wonderful** things you're capable of. Whether this child will be just as wonderful as you is unknown, but if they aren't, we **will** figure this out." He said softly.

She opened her eyes again. "Promise?"

He nodded. "I promise... Do tell me when you're worrying about all this. I'll reassure you whenever you need it." The blond caressed her face with his thumbs.

"You'll get tired of reassuring me by day's end." She mumbled.

"Nonsense. I'll do whatever you need of me, even if you believe I'll tire of you."

Her lip quivered. "You're a saint. Y'know that, angel?"

"I beg to differ. I met several of them. My life is far better. And yes, that's even **now** , when we don't know what we're going to give birth to." His left hand went down to her stomach.

She covered that hand with her own. "Sorry for being so emotional... I know you're not used to that from me."

"Oh darling, hush. You're scared and hormonal. Don't apologize for things you can't control. Simply let me know when you're feeling like this again and I will do all I can to make you feel safe."

The demon grabbed his other hand and kissed his palm. "I don't deserve you."

"You deserve more than you believe, love." Said Aziraphale, planting a kiss on her forehead.

~~~~~

Rather than morning sickness, Crowley experienced massive cravings as soon as she woke up. Sometimes, they were what woke her up in the first place. This was strange, considering she wasn't much of an eater. She'd barely eat anything whenever she and Aziraphale hung out over the millennia, and suddenly, she was eating more than he was! The angel didn't really mind though, since he **finally** managed to get her to try some exotic dishes.

Another change in her behavior thanks to the pregnancy was her amount of clinginess. Aziraphale thought Crowley was clingy before all this, but no, that was **nothing** compared to how much more she was now. As soon as she felt Aziraphale leave the bed, she would whine. She needed to have him close at all times. At the very least, she needed to be able to see him. It was a very good thing that Aziraphale didn't have a proper job, because Crowley would've been keeping him from doing it. Once again, the blond didn't mind, and he would let her wrap herself around him in some way while he read a book. Both in human and in snake form. If the angel was being honest, he hoped this wouldn't be something that changed back to normal once the pregnancy was over and done with. He adored his clingy serpent.

There was also the issue with her feet. They were always swollen, they were always hurting and they were scalier than usual. She felt self-conscious about it, even when they didn't leave the shop or her flat. Thanks to this, she'd almost always be wearing socks, no matter what the temperature was. Aziraphale would massage them when they were too unbearable and she appreciated it greatly.

Unfortunately, another common problem she dealt with was her fear. She had constant nightmares and would overthink something on a daily basis when it came to the unborn hybrid child. These would happen more often whenever an appointment was near. So with one taking place at the end of the week, **of** **course** tonight was one of those nights that she woke up screaming.

Quick as anything, the angel snaps on the light and placed both his hands on her shoulders to keep her from running away and accidentally hurting herself. "Darling, you're alright. Look around. We're in my bedroom. You're safe." He says gently while letting out a bit of angelic grace to help her calm down.

Once the squirming stopped, the demon turned and latched onto her husband. Aziraphale rubbed her back as they swayed back and forth together. "I wish I could just turn off my brain. I'm so tired of this, angel..."

"I know, love... We could try to miracle the nightmares away." He suggested.

She shook her head. "I've been trying to do it to myself. It's not working."

"What was it this time?"

Crowley hugged him even tighter. "It looked horrible! A sickly looking snake creature. It attacked the hospital staff. It was a literal bloody massacre... All my fault."

"Crowley. Don't."

"It **is**. I just didn't **intend** for it to happen." She said with a shrug.

"Neither of us did. But, every appointment so far has proved that there is nothing to worry about." The angel was scratching her head now, in hope that it would calm her down enough to lull her to sleep.

"Yet."

Aziraphale nodded. "Perhaps you're right. Even so, Anathema and I have been cataloging information to take precautions once the time comes. You **know** this. This is just your fear trying to control you. Again I say, we will figure it out together."

"...Still not tired of reassuring me?"

The principality kissed her temple. "Not one bit."

"I love you." Said the demon in a hushed voice.

Aziraphale leaned back and draped her over his body. "I love you too, dearest. Let's try to rest a bit more. You'll need it." He said before doing a minor miracle to make her sleepier than she already was. Within seconds, she was snuggled up to his chin and lightly snoring. Another snap and the lights shut off, plunging the room into complete darkness once more.

~~~~~

This appointment was not like the previous ones. This time, something significant **did** show up on the monitor. Wings. The six month old child had **wings**. As soon as Dr. Kingston noticed the extra appendages, Crowley stopped time.

The angel jumped from his seat to be at her side. "Crowley, you can't do that!"

"Fuck the 'no miracle' rule! Don't you see that?!" She screamed.

"Of course I can, love. But you can't go wasting energy like this. For goodness sake, you're clearly sweating and you're straining just to keep time paused!"

Crowley glared angrily. "No shit! There's no telling what he would do!"

The angel placed a hand over her heart and gave her a bit more grace. "Darling, trust me. He won't do a thing. I'll take care of it."

True to his word, when Crowley started time again, the doctor seemed to be in a haze and he continued to work, not acknowledging the wings at all. He finished the check up, gave them their next appointment and escorted them out of the examination room with his usual charm. Aziraphale made sure to erase the doctor's memory of the finding, as well as scrubbing it from the ultrasound video. The supernatural entities left the office in a hurry and hightailed it to Tadfield. Well, perhaps that isn't the most accurate term, since angel didn't let her get behind the wheel in her frantic state. He drove the Bentley as quickly, but as safety, as possible, so they would reach their destination in one piece. The amount of time it took only added to Crowley's emotions, meaning it took Aziraphale, Anathema and Newt to calm her down enough to stay put.

For hours, Anathema and Aziraphale rattled off some contingency plans for all potentially monstrous outcomes, in hopes that it would put Crowley's mind at ease. During the commotion, The Them popped over for a visit. They had taken to coming by a few times a week to discuss things they weren't taught in school. Needless to say, they were surprised to see a female, and very pregnant, Crowley sitting on the floor, crying her eyes out.

"Why is she so upset?" Asked a genuinely concerned Wensleydale after they entered the kitchen.

Newt sighed as he got them all something to drink. "She's scared she's going to give birth to a monster." He said.

Brian pouted. "How come?"

"No one's ever had a half demon-half angel baby before. We don't know whether it's gonna turn out normal like them or something awful. They're scared." Explained Newt.

"Aziraphale doesn't look scared." Said Pepper, observant as ever.

"He's definitely more optimistic than Crowley... Wasn't Adam with you?" Asked the world's worst computer technician, having only **just** realized The Them's leader hadn't followed him into the kitchen.

Adam had sat down next to Crowley on the floor and stared at the demon. No one said anything about it, but they could tell he was planning something. Eventually, when the redhead wiped her face and looked around, she locked eyes with the Antichrist.

"What? Haven't you ever seen a hormonal, pregnant woman before?" She snapped.

The boy nodded. "Sure, I have. A hormonal, pregnant **demon** , though? Can't say I have. Why are you so sad? Aren't you supposed to be excited because you're going to be a mum?"

Crowley let out a scoff. "Well, when there's a chance you're going to bring a little monster into the world, it takes a lot of the excitement out of it." She sniffled and wiped away more tears. "Adam, if this goes pear-shaped, we may need your help."

"What do you mean?" Asked the boy.

She placed her hand on Adam's shoulder. "We don't know what this child will be like. If it's evil, and we can't control it... Will you destroy it so it can't hurt anyone?" She asked, but it sounded more like desperate begging.

"Crowley, that's far too much responsibility for a boy who isn't even involved in this." Said Aziraphale as he sat on the floor with them.

"Angel, if we want to get technical about it-"

The principality put his hand over her mouth, knowing exactly what she was going to bring up. "Not another word-!"

"What if I say it isn't a monster?" Interrupted Adam.

Both supernatural entities stilled and turned towards the boy again. "What?" They asked, unsure but hopeful.

"You said so yourself a year ago. 'Reality will listen to you.' It **did** that day at the airbase, and it **has** ever since. So, if I say your baby won't be a monster, then they won't be." Explained the boy.

Crowley's eyes seemed to soften a bit. "Would you really do that for us?"

"Sure. No need to kill anything if it can be solved some other way." He said with a sly grin.

Crowley frowned. "Kid, we've apologized a million times for the whole 'almost killing you' thing. You've accepted the apology every time! When are the jabs going to stop?"

"Just messing with you." Said the Antichrist with a smile before continuing. "I mean, this is **your** kid, right? Even if it **was** evil, would you **really** be alright with me just killing it or erasing it out of existence?" Asked Adam, knowingly.

The demon sighed, shaking her head, seemingly annoyed with herself. Aziraphale knew why that was. Crowley had loved the child from the start, even when she tried **not** to, because they didn't know how things would end. She couldn't help it, it was second nature. Even when she was frightened of it, the angel could still feel that love beaming from within. It was overwhelming in more ways than one.

"I never wanted this. But since it happened, part of me has wanted nothing else. The uncertainty's been killing me for the last four months..." She whispered. "If you can get rid of all these doubts and fears, I'll be even more indebted to you than I already was." She said, tears threatening to spill.

Adam stuck out his hand. "Just promise to love them and we're even."

"That hardly seems like a fair trade." Said the demon, staring at the hand.

Adam shrugged. "You can do me random favors for the rest of my life if it'll make you feel better. Would that help?"

"...Strangely, yes..." She started reaching towards him but hesitated for a moment. "So, that's it, then? They won't be a little devil?"

The Antichrist grabbed her hand. "They'll be whatever you raise them to be. Not too demonic, not too angelic. Just normal." He said as they shook on it. "You're not having a monster."

And with that, the demon let out a huge sigh of relief that made her whole body tremble. The fear melted away from her as she began to cry. Tears of joy, of course, but the sobs were quite loud nonetheless. He left the adults to handle it while he went to the kitchen back to his gang.

"Wow. So, they're not having a monster now?" Asked Brian, taking another sip from his drink.

Adam shook his head. "They never were."

Wensleydale's eyes squinted. "But you told them-"

"Come on, you guys know who my other dad is. I **know** evil when I feel it. Whatever they're gonna have is anything **but** evil. They just needed some reassurance." Explained Adam with a proud grin.

Pepper pursed her lips with a nod. "If adults insist that lying to us sometimes is for our own good, I don't see why we can't do the same."

Adam nodded. "Exactly."

The Them stayed for a little while longer, until Crowley calmed down and Anathema had time to reschedule their little lesson. She and Newt also prepared dinner for all of them, since they were already there. Said meal was just what the celestial pair needed after the day they'd had. And after thanking them all numerous times, Crowley and Aziraphale left Jasmine Cottage. Everyone slept peacefully that night.

~~~~~

"Angel!" Yelled Crowley from the flat's living room.

Aziraphale, who had been trying to sneak a few miracles to the foliage in the plant-room and thought he had just been caught, answered back quickly. "Yes, darling?"

"Come here for a second, would you? Need your opinion!"

The angel sighed, relieved he hadn't been caught at all. "Coming, my dear!" He said, but not before another quick miracle for the rest of the room. Crowley's plant threatening had only gotten more violent as her pregnancy went on and he believed the flora deserved a fighting chance.

Crowley was sprawled out on the couch and with her phone in right hand while the other caressed her belly. Not an uncommon sight these days, but Aziraphale couldn't help but smile every time he saw it. Even when she was in one of her worst moods, Crowley was glowing. Apparently, motherhood and love really suited her.

"You rang, dearest?" Asked the principality as he peeked around the room's entrance.

The demon smiled, waving him over, then patting the only available space on the couch next to her. The angel wasn't about to try and squeeze into that little area so he moved her legs, sat comfortably on the furniture and let her legs rest atop his lap.

"Feeling lonely or just need body-heat?" Asked the blond, knowingly.

She shook her head and handed over the phone. "Neither. We need to talk about something very important."

Aziraphale took the phone and observed the webpage which was currently open. Baby names. That's when the angel realized: They had never discussed names, not once since finding out she was pregnant. And she was already eight months along! Had Crowley really been scrolling through hundreds and hundreds of baby names for however many hours she had been sitting here while he was cleaning around?

After the initial shock died down, the former Guardian Of The Eastern Gate looked at his wife. "Have you found one you like?" Was all he managed to ask, handing over the phone.

"A few that sound nice, but I want to know what you think." She said softly. Her eyes were blown and Aziraphale nearly melted on the spot.

He took her hand and kissed it, feeling softer than usual. "Very well. What did you have in mind?"

"If they're a boy, how willing are you to name him 'Damian'?" She asked, biting her lip.

The angel visibly shuddered. "Not very, for obvious reasons. But if your heart is set on it, I can consider it."

"I really like it, but I want you to like whatever we actually go with."

"What else do you have?"

"Alexander, Callum, Nathan, Maxwell. Any of these sound good to you?"

The angel nodded. "I rather like 'Nathan' and 'Callum'. Though, 'Nathan' **more** than 'Callum'."

"Nathan it is, then." She said as she made a note of it on her phone.

"Any girl names you'd like me to consider?"

"Would you kill me if I wanted to name her 'Lilith'?" She asked, unable to hide her grin.

Aziraphale glared at her. "Really, my dear? The whole 'Damian' thing wasn't enough?"

Crowley giggled. "Sorry, couldn't help it."

"What else?" He asked, refraining from rolling his eyes.

The demon shrugged. "Do you like 'Athena'?"

"Lovely name, but I don't think I want my child to be associated with War." Admitted the blond.

The redhead groaned. "Good point... What about 'Eden'?"

" 'Eden'? Like the garden?" Asked the angel, his tone suggesting disbelief.

The demon pouted. "Why not? It's where we met. If it wasn't for that garden assignment, I'm sure I'd still be down in Hell doing paperwork, bored out of my mind."

"Love, I'm fairly sure **many** things would be different if neither of us had been sent to the garden." Said the blond, pulling her by the arms.

Crowley, in response, started to squirm until she was seated in his lap. Once she balanced herself well enough, she wrapped herself around him as much as her baby bump would allow. "I'm glad we did. Glad you didn't smite me on sight."

"As am I. I cannot imagine my life without you in it." Said the angel, kissing the top of her head.

"So, yes or no on the name?" Asked the serpent as she snuggled into Aziraphale's neck.

Aziraphale scoffed out a chuckle as he hugged her. "How can I say 'no' after that lovely reasoning, darling? I feel like you've all but tricked me into agreeing to it."

"But if you don't like it-"

"I love it, dearest. I was only teasing." He assured her.

He felt her smile against his neck. "Right, then. Nathan if it's a boy, Eden if it's a girl." She said, as if to make it official.

It was a relatively short conversation. Aziraphale had always heard about some parents taking months to pick a name, so the fact that they had figured it out in just a few minutes was surprising. Then again, he was married to Crowley. He should have known she had been thinking of names beforehand, even when fear was her most dominant emotion towards the baby. Whatever the case, the angel decided to mentally remind himself to refer to the child as Nathan or Eden until they knew what they were having.

~~~~~

Unfortunately, they never did find out what they were having. Not until the birth, that is, because every single appointment leading up to it, the little creature had refused to let them see what they were. And since Aziraphale's miracles were always focused on making sure Dr. Kingston didn't notice the wings, he couldn't muster up enough energy to get them to move in the womb to get a quick peek. Not knowing the gender didn't stop Crowley from decorating the nursery with different shades of greens and blues, but it did keep her from buying them clothes than weren't plain onesies. She thought her head ached while trying to figure out how she wanted all the furniture in the baby's room, but it failed in comparison to when her water broke.

It was quite the event, too. With her being out of commission in terms of miracles and leaving all the deceit to Aziraphale, in a hospital full of patients and staff wasn't really fair, they opted for a home water-birth. They had practically **begged** Anathema to be there and act as their midwife. She warned them she had no prior experience but they didn't care, admitting it was mostly because they didn't have to lie or waste miracles with her. They considered asking Madame Tracy, but they weren't as close as they were with Anathema. And Anathema, curious as ever, wasn't about to miss the birth of the first ever angel-demon hybrid in existence.

That was a very long day. It started around 3 a.m., when the first contractions awoke Crowley, and her pained screaming woke Aziraphale. They called Anathema and Newt, who they had been staying at the Ritz for the past week at Crowley's request, so they could come over as fast as possible. To lessen the amount of miracles in case there was a big medical emergency, the bathroom had been soundproofed the human way about a month in advance. Thankfully, the bathtub was already big enough for five people, so it didn't need any celestial adjusting. The biggest hassle was, without a doubt, waiting. Waiting for Anathema to get there. Waiting to be properly dilated. Waiting for the blessed child to decide 'Yes, I feel like I'll turn into the proper position now.'. In total, the whole endeavor was about 16 hours long.

Eventually, by the time the sun had set again, Crowley was carried to the bedroom and laid onto the bed, limbs basically useless. Not surprising at all, considering how long she was in labor for, and the fact that she had managed to **break** the tub with only her grip. Needless to say, she was spent, and the main reason she was forcing her eyes open was to meet her baby. The child was delivered and examined thoroughly by both Anathema and Aziraphale, there had been a cry while they cleaned them but no other noise. Finally concluding that the tiny being was fine, Anathema and Newt left, while Aziraphale brought them over to Crowley.

"Still awake, love?"

"Are they alright?"

"She's perfect, dear." Said the angel as he sat on the bed, unwrapped the child from the blanket and placed her on Crowley's chest.

The demon seemed to lose all the air in her lungs. "Oh, oh my- Aziraphale, she's so lovely! Oh-" She was overwhelmed by all the emotions coursing through her body.

Eden was very small, with freckled skin just as pale as Crowley's. She had a full head of white-blonde curls. Her eyes were blue, but with thin slits for pupils. Her wings weren't just stubs like they had originally thought. They already had feathers, most of them black and some random white ones thrown in there for good measure. They looked like stars on the night sky. And to top it off, she had Crowley's snake mark in the space between her wings. Of course, the demon didn't know this yet, because she couldn't take her eyes off the tiny blue ones which stared back at her.

Crowley was sobbing and exuding waves of love, as was Eden. It made Aziraphale feel like he was drowning in affection and he loved it.

"Do you need anything, dearest?"

She shook her head as she held Eden closer. "Nothing, angel. Everything is perfect."

Aziraphale beamed and joined them in bed. It was a good thing he had his halo under control, because if not, he would've been illuminating the whole of Mayfair right now.

"She smells like you." Said Crowley, breaking the silence.

The angel hummed. "Really? I can't tell. She definitely smells like you. Not as much, of course, but there's a very obvious hint of smoke and brimstone mixed in with that new baby smell."

"I smell more ozone and stardust than smoke. Good thing, that. The more she's like you, the better." She said, her fingers carding through the baby's wings.

Aziraphale sent a small glare her way. "Oh come now, darling. Eden is **our** child, meaning I'd like for her to resemble us **both** in various ways."

"You say that **now** , but you'll agree with me if she can turn into a snake."

"Why would that be an issue? Have I ever had a problem with you and your serpent form? I think it's quite lovely." Said the principality in a very matter-of-fact tone.

"Yes, lovely, until you've got a baby snake running amok in your bookshop. What if she gets hurt?" She asked, holding her just a bit tighter now.

Aziraphale wiped away two strands of hair from Eden's eyes. "I doubt that will happen, dearest. I've got a feeling she won't be leaving your sight for quite some time."

Crowley opened her mouth but paused. She finally looked away from their daughter and looked at her husband. "You're making it sound like I'm gonna care about her more than you are..." She didn't seem convinced by it, but the fact that she said it proved it was a small worry.

Aziraphale was, once again, very quick to reassure. "Oh no, believe me, I already love her more than anything. But I feel like you may attempt to rip my arm off in the event I **try** taking her from you." Explained the angel, knowingly.

The demon grinned and it seemed that the answer calmed her down a little. "You're so dramatic."

"Then, may I hold her for a bit?" Asked the blond, crossing his arms.

Crowley pouted as she caressed the infant's back. "... In a minute." She mumbled into the crown of Eden's head.

Aziraphale laughed, triumphantly before moving closer to place a kiss on his wife's forehead. "Your bond is very beautiful, and I know I will never replicate it, try as I might. **That's** what I meant."

There was another moment of silence before Crowley sighed deeply.

"Go on. Hold her, before I start being irrational." She said.

The angel listened, gently scooping up the baby and cradled her close to his chest. She didn't seem to mind in the slightest. In fact, there appeared to be a hint of a smile on Eden's face. Maybe it was because she recognized his angelic aura. Either way, it was a lovely sight. One the angel planned to remember for all eternity.

Both parents sank further into the mattress, huddling closer together. "Do you think she'll need to be changed or fed like a human?" Asked Crowley, unable to keep her hand away from the child's feathers.

"I'd assume so. She wasn't born sexless. A bit odd, considering the original stock, and all." Said the principality as he stared into those lovely eyes.

Crowley hummed. "It kinda makes sense, though, doesn't it? What's in between Heaven and Hell? Earth. Now, put that on a spectrum. What's in between an angel and a demon? Apparently, a supernatural hybrid who's just enough of a human to feel right at home here. Let's hope, anyway." She said with a smile.

"So, now that she's here, will you be staying in your female form for much longer, or will you swap back?"

The demon's smile turned into a grin. "Miss my male form already, angel?" She asked, lightly pinching his cheek.

Aziraphale rolled his eyes and playfully swatted her hand away. "By now you should know that I love you and your corporation no matter the sex or gender. I mainly ask because of Eden."

Crowley nodded and thought it over for a moment. "I'll stay like this a bit longer. See how it goes. Might swap back, see how she reacts once she's a bit older. I don't want her getting scared, y'know? Thinking her mum abandoned her and, suddenly, Daddy's got a new boyfriend."

"And, what a coincidence, that said new boyfriend looked exactly like Mummy." Said the blond, humorously.

She shrugged. "Well, it's quite obvious that Daddy has a type and he fell in love with some twins." Even with all the pain and exhaustion, she was still Crowley, banter and all. Aziraphale admired that.

"If it was a transition like the humans do, maybe she'd see the changes and understand it's still me, but like I said, we'll see when she's older." She also added.

"So, now I'm 'Daddy'?" Asked the angel, confused.

"Since I'm 'Mummy', then yes. It's how this thing works. Y'know, Anathema will be disappointed to hear you didn't learn much from our little stint with contraceptives. Or rather, lack thereof."

Aziraphale narrowed his eyes. "I **meant** when you're Mr. Fell, not Mrs. Fell. Wouldn't it suit **you** more?"

"What's your logic?" Asked the snake.

"Well, 'Daddy' sounds so sweet-"

" **You're** sweet. Just about the sweetest being in the whole bloody universe." She interrupted, wholly besotted.

That got a blush out of him, as always, but he pushed on to make his point. "Yes, but when it comes to children, you just have a **way** with them. It feels more fitting for you."

Crowley sighed dramatically. "Alright, fine. I'll be 'Daddy' and 'Mummy'. What's that make you, then?"

"Just 'Dad' would be fine."

"Oh, come on angel, that's boring."

"Do you have any other suggestions?"

"What about 'Papa'? You look like a 'Papa'."

A smile crept up on the angel's face. "Actually, I rather do like it."

"Perfect. You're 'Papa' and 'Mama'."

" 'Mama'?"

"In case you suddenly get the urge to change it up one day. You know how this is. You'll wake up and just **feel** it."

"You tend to feel the need for change more than I, dear."

Crowley made a face. "Good point. I even changed for a few years during my century-long nap."

"Just to sleep?"

"Don't judge me until you've slept naked on silk sheets for several days straight."

"Whatever you say, dearest." Said the angel, amused.

They fell silent again and focused on Eden, who had dozed off at some point during their conversation. Aziraphale noticed that Crowley's pupils would dilate whenever she laid eyes on their daughter and that absolutely **delighted** him. Without thinking twice, he placed Eden back on her mother's chest and watched as the tiny baby squirmed to get even closer. The demon started sniffling as her eyes began welling up.

"Y'know, I didn't think something could make me happier than our wedding day..." She whispered, trying to ensure Eden didn't wake up. "But she's blowing you out the water right now."

Aziraphale kissed them both. "I'll gladly accept second place, dear. Get some sleep. I'll make sure nothing happens to either of you."

"What makes you think I'll sleep now with all this giddiness I'm feeling?"

"Well, if you nod off, don't worry about it. I'm right here." He said while sneaking a frivolous miracle on her, so she would rest and dream of whatever she liked best.

She definitely noticed. So upon waking up the next day, as 'revenge' and mainly to amuse herself, Crowley ordered a baby onesie which read: ['To quote Hamlet, Act III Scene III, Line 87: "No"](https://www.kidozi.com/product/hamlet-quote-funny-baby-onesies-4916616).' but didn't tell him about it. She wanted to see his reaction once she already had Eden in it. The angel rolled his eyes, but it did get a good laugh out of him, so the Original Tempter counted it as a win. 

In the end, Adam's words rang true. She wasn't too angelic or demonic, just normal. They found that raising Eden was the most fulfilling thing they'd ever done over the millennia.


End file.
